what an amazing year!

meltdown and/or breakdown

if you could see me now. I'm the picture of complete exhaustion. ginny's first birthday party may be canceled.

I have been working my ass OFF (literally non-stop) for weeks and weeks now. I am up every single morning around 6 - 6:30 and this is after working the "night shift" and weekends. I can't even tell you the last time I slept past 7 am. I think it was when ginny gave me that horrific vomiting and diarrhea virus last winter. b "let" me sleep in one morning. thanks b.

he is so on the shit list these days. I am actually working MORE than him and taking care of ginny and all that is house related. this turkey comes home after rounds sunday morning and then NAPS! I was up even before him and this mama doesn't get to indulge in the luxury of a nap. no way man! the 3 hours a day that I consider "my" time have been dedicated to finding a new sitter/nanny. my salary is far from supplemental -- it's keeping this house afloat! BUT because b works at big fancy hospital my work is "second class." and he hates his new job. his constant moping and depression is sucking the life out of me.

I'm not eating. stress takes away my appetite and quite frankly, I don't even have the energy to eat. I'm at the mercy of demanding clients that want to see work immediately. 2 week deadlines are a fond and distant memory. now I'm banging out complete projects in a couple of days. and it shows. my hair is everywhere and my skin is a hideous shade of gray. I mumble.

it's 9:10 pm. I will save my last sad design, quit adobe illustrator and call it a night. maybe I'll even shower for the first time today. now the fun begins! I'll start searching for a new nanny for ginny. I have no tolerance for (current) sitter that simply sits next to her and sends text messages all day - at $14 an hour - after showing up late. why does she think this is acceptable? she is so fucking fired. b is fired too! his idea of fine parenting is placing ginny in her pnp while he reads his email and buys music online.

I seriously can't do this all alone!

my MIL arrives in 3 days.

oh joy.

incredibly sad and tragic

a terrible day for a fellow saIFer (success after infertility.)
my heart is heavy.
three cheers for babies

she's at it again

my MIL. it's all too familiar. it's p&b's 2006 wedding all over again however this time it's slightly different -- it's ginny's birthday party. her mission? ask every asian in the tri-state area to come to my tiny home and expect to be catered to with full-blown festivities and a giant meal.

it' 10:15 pm friday. b's phone rings. eeeek! it must be hospital.

"yes, this is b."

blah blah blah blah BLAH.

"oh... hi... I just recently moved back to nyc. yes, I'm married. my wife's name is p and we have a daughter virginia."

blah blah blah blah BLAH.

"I see. so we're cousins?"

blah blah blah blah FRIGGIN' BLAH!

"so there will be 5 - 7 of you coming to the party?"

b never even knew this cousin existed! his mother invited him (and god knows who else) to come to our little gathering of friends to celebrate our miracle baby's very first birthday. everyone coming knows how hard we struggled for ginny. everyone coming was so supportive during the trials of my pregnancy. everyone coming has special meaning to me, to ginny, to us. everyone...
until now.

the circus officially begins. this shit sends me into crazy person mode. can you hear me screaming my head off?!

birthday time! (plus bonus rant.)

ok. so what is the deal with RSVPs? don't people do this anymore? come on! we sent out save the date emails followed by the invitation. granted we never got around to printing the invites (ran out of time) but so many people have neglected to respond yes or no. I find this rather inconsiderate -- I guess I'm old school. clearly none of our invitees read this blog so I can bitch and moan for a minute. so how many cupcakes will we order for the party? how much eggplant parm do we need? how many bottles of wine should I buy? who the hell knows! grrrrrrr.
rant over.

so here is the final invitation. I went through numerous rounds using various photos. I just couldn't commit to one picture -- until the cloth diaper tutu butt. designers always struggle designing for themselves.

the party will be sweet and simple. no silly themes. no tiny horses. no frightening mimes. just good friends (including many IVF babies) with yummy food, lots o' drink, a couple balloons and a little girl that turns one. what an amazing year to celebrate!

our trip back home to maine

same beach.
3 generations (look! I'm still blonde! -- thanks to william)
2 ginnys.

pretty darn special.

gone fishin'

it's vacation time! new posts and pics coming soon.