31 January 2007

things you should not say to someone TTC

I am on a number of TTC (trying to conceive) websites and message boards. it's universal. we all hate these statements.

1 - "just r e l a x"

2 - "if you can't get pregnant you can always have one of my kids" - now imagine uncomfortable and awkward laughter. yes, your 7 year old was irritable and destructive yesterday and you are upset with him, but this is not funny.

3 - "I have a friend whose cousin's, nephew's, cleaning lady's, neighbor's dentist saw on oprah a story from CNN about a couple who adopted a child from russia and THEN the wife got pregnant naturally." if I had a dime for every time heard this story, our treatments would be paid for.

the other man in my life

just came by for a visit. I love him.

the ups guy. he is sporting a banana republic box. rock and roll! I am guilty of a depression inspired shopping binge. I found it completely necessary to purchase an awesome $175 bag (not including two $25 rewards cards AND free shipping -- $125 total) that I don't need and obviously cannot afford. mind you, I just gave b a hard time because he wanted to buy a bluetooth headset for his mobile so he can safely drive and chat. "are you crazy? we need that money for IVF! do realize what this is going to cost us?! at least I know that the funds (or lack of) will be in such a cool bag.

I am shocked my boy doesn't have another package for me. no more wedding gifts? it seems like I receive a daily barnesandnoble.com addition to my personal infertility library. at this point I feel like I can teach this stuff. b and I have occasional reproductive physiology arguments. yes, he did go to medical school but if anyone knows and understands all about the uterus, the fallopian tubes and ovaries, IT'S ME!

my fallopian tubes have let me down!

I have wanted to do this blog for some time now. this is both revealing and empowering. it is therapeutic for me (even though I clearly cannot type.) no doubt I will offend someone with a post one of these days. I apologize in advance. all sarcasm aside, "so sorry."

today is a quiet day and I am gearing up for my bilateral tubal removal surgery tommorow. I sit here typing when I really should be grocery shopping and vacuuming. with friends and the dog walker coming in and out, the apartment should be clean (I use this word loosely) and organized. I am most concerned about the bathrooms and the giant wads of pug hair collecting in every corner. you'd think chilli was the size of a small horse. the minute I start thinking about the procedure I get nauseated. I think it is best to do a little shopping online, poke around the nest.com (maybe even harass a 19 year old newlywed) and torture myself with infertility websites and their dismal statistics. I love the web. I hate the web.

do you think when my tubes are removed I will weigh less? I am really not keen on the idea of waking up from anesthesia with a 6" horizontal incision. dr k said this is a possibility and that scares the sh!t out of me. he also told me that post-op I should expect to feel like a car hit me. good times. b (DH) and I removed my belly ring last night with a pair of pliers in preparation for the laproscopic camera. I had that piercing for over 10 years! shocking! b suggested I get another tattoo. I agreed. it is sort of the end of an era if you will. we now start the IVF journey. oh god.