running out of time...

and energy.

I'm starting to freak out. at this point I will be working right up until my first induced contraction -- literally. one client I had to beat off with a stick (crazy to say "no" in this economy) and another keeps adding work, changing "completed" work and is being a total pain in my giant ass. every ridiculous request she makes I follow with a "I'll have to charge you." yes, the money will be an added bonus but it's precious time that I REALLY need now.

my heart is starting to beat fast again just thinking about what's on my plate. 1 million projects started and nothing finished. I would love to be one of those women that takes a week off before the birth -- to nest. to clean and get organized. to address baby announcement envelopes (yeah, right.) to put together the stroller. to grocery shop. to answer some long overdue emails. to bathe a stinky dog. to finish painting the nursery/office. to maybe (just maybe) indulge in a pedicure (I'd like pretty feet for labor.) to pack my hospital bag. to rest up! b is of no help because he is putting in 115 hour work weeks. the boy is spent. I am spent...

and I'm fucking HOT! boiling. sweaty. the heat and humidity (and little one) are sucking the life out of me. even though I work in my undies I still stick to my desk while at the computer. little do my clients know, I'm basically naked when discussing pantone chips, photo re-shoots and marketing concepts. they're on 5th avenue in their groovy summer weight suits and I'm in my light pink hanes XL (yup, extra large... charming) hipster briefs. (((giggle))) my little secret.

so this explains my lack of posts and/or comments. this explains the delay in shower thank you's. I will indeed get to them but after a full day of work, walking (I mean dragging) the dog in 100 degree heat, feeding b and my giant self, tubby is exhausted. a good night's sleep would be ideal (I cannot imagine) but when you have to pee a tablespoon every 30 minutes and your hips ache like crazy, quality rest is just not going to happen.

the temperature is rapidly rising. off to work now (with no AC.) let the sweating and crank-pot irritability begin.

sneak peak...

YIKES!

I just spoke with my childbirth class instructor. she actually works as an ob nurse where I will be delivering. we discussed my AMA and possible early placental breakdown. she explained that "they" (the hospital and dr f) typically start the "induction process" (cervical ripening) at 38 1/2 weeks. so now we are talking 18 august. oy!

starting next week I will have 2 dr appointments a week. the first with dr f for maintenance -- weight, blood pressure, urine... the second with the hospital for an u/s and fetal heart monitoring (for 30-45 minutes.) this is all becoming too real now. am I ready?

(((deep breath))) good question.

p's favorite things - 34w4d

I'm a little late from last week -- or early this week, if you will. I'm going to start my post with what's number 1 on my shit list.

today, 22 july 08, my least favorite thing.

dr f's office! I'm anemic dammit! and nobody told me until today. I had b/w done almost 2 months ago and the office neglected to pass this information on to me. dopes! the crabby midwife I met with this morning happened to mention my levels "in passing." I'm not terribly anemic but she does want me to add iron supplements to my pnvs. "hey, thanks! thanks for letting me feel EXTRA tired these last few months." I needed that, right? nice.

1st favorite thing...

prenatal massage. ohhhhhhh. ooooooh. my sister j was kind enough to share with me a gift certificate from a very nice spa overlooking the ocean. it was heavenly. my (super fertile) therapist (who just had "mistake twins") was very much in tune with all my aches and pains. my only complaint is that it was not long enough. 50 minutes felt more like 10. but it was awesome and so decadent. thanks again j!

2nd favorite thing...













the pregnancy wedge pillow. with the summer heat and humidity I had to retire the giant snoogle once and for all. being surrounded by 6 feet of polyester fluff made me feel like I was in a slow cooker each and every night. between the memory foam egg crate (for hip pain) and the massive body pillow I was a complete sweaty mess. capable of generating enough heat to effectively simmer both b and lulu. the wedge has just enough support to keep me from cheating and toppling over into my favorite position - sleeping on my back. plus the smaller wedge in front is super comfy if you've got the big belly.


3rd favorite thing...

friendly strangers. oddly, I was stopped today while walking to my car outside the market. a total stranger, with 3 small boys, said "I just have to to tell you how cute you look." she really caught me off guard. when a random person speaks to you out of the blue usually they say something nasty or they want something -- directions, the time, spare change, whatever. we chatted a bit and she could not have been any nicer. what a glorious, and very unusual, way to start my day. thank you mystery lady! I sincerely appreciate your unexpected kindness.

p's favorite things - 33w2d

does this clearly illustrate the almost 35 lb weight gain? dr f's office is not pleased with me. at my last appointment I had gained 7 lbs in 5 weeks. I'm afraid my biggest fear may becoming a reality -- delivering a 10 lb baby complete with a giant head! I was ordered to only gain 1/2 pound a week (at the most) until delivery date.

if you look in the lower left of the photo you can see our french bulldog lulu (aka pookie, scoobster, monkey, stinker, loolee...) checking out the big belly. oh... she has no idea what's coming.

















today, 13 july 08 (even though it's not friday) 1st favorite thing...

blabla dolls from company kids. 100% cotton and hand knit. too cute. the whole blabla line of products is adorable.















2nd favorite thing...

the pea pod necklace. this was my first mother's day gift from b. it's sterling silver with a tiny pearl representing little one. I obviously have the single pea version (no triplets for p & b.)


















3rd favorite thing...

air conditioning! enough said.

33 weeks!

I just have to type that again. 33 weeks... pregnant! that's 231 days. 48 (at the most) to go. to be honest, I'm still in disbelief. with IVF #4 I got so used to my injections. they became daily "maintenance" for me and simply a part of my life. I sort of lost track of why exactly I was shooting up. even with a massive 35 lb weight gain and a visibly active belly it's still hard to imagine little one truly exists. until that moment when dr f hands over our tiny miracle I refuse to unpack the stroller or carseat or even wash any baby clothes. it's all so unreal. I hope this is not just a dream.

wow!

I've missed so much!

giant congratulations to farah at fertilized, trish at fertile hope and lub at quest for a baby. they are all new moms! I'm so happy for you guys!

tomorrow I will be 33 weeks. hard to believe isn't it? I'm now in the process of scheduling a professional maternity shoot for when I am in maine next week. my wedding photographer is available to take some simple b+w photos. seeing as I never had a "proper" bridal portrait and this will be my one and only pregnancy I am going to go for it. be not afraid -- it won't be demi moore style. in the meantime I need to find someone to address this hideous hair situation. and what do I wear? "modeling" is not my thing (very camera shy) but I'll suck it up for an afternoon and hope for the best. hey, all we need is one decent picture. my photographer is big into the blurry, out of focus look. brilliant!

then I will be on ob ordered "house arrest." no more traveling for p and little one.
booo.

long time, no post (31w4d)

I'm now trying (key work: trying) to get back into the swing of things. with m's passing, his memorial service, coming back to ct, depression, work, and my shower (aka baby brunch) this past weekend, I have been overwhelmed and super busy -- and completely exhausted. I promise to post a recap and photos sometime this week. I also promise to catch up with all my fellow bloggers. I know I have missed a ton of news (all good I hope.).