and energy.
I'm starting to freak out. at this point I will be working right up until my first induced contraction -- literally. one client I had to beat off with a stick (crazy to say "no" in this economy) and another keeps adding work, changing "completed" work and is being a total pain in my giant ass. every ridiculous request she makes I follow with a "I'll have to charge you." yes, the money will be an added bonus but it's precious time that I REALLY need now.
my heart is starting to beat fast again just thinking about what's on my plate. 1 million projects started and nothing finished. I would love to be one of those women that takes a week off before the birth -- to nest. to clean and get organized. to address baby announcement envelopes (yeah, right.) to put together the stroller. to grocery shop. to answer some long overdue emails. to bathe a stinky dog. to finish painting the nursery/office. to maybe (just maybe) indulge in a pedicure (I'd like pretty feet for labor.) to pack my hospital bag. to rest up! b is of no help because he is putting in 115 hour work weeks. the boy is spent. I am spent...
and I'm fucking HOT! boiling. sweaty. the heat and humidity (and little one) are sucking the life out of me. even though I work in my undies I still stick to my desk while at the computer. little do my clients know, I'm basically naked when discussing pantone chips, photo re-shoots and marketing concepts. they're on 5th avenue in their groovy summer weight suits and I'm in my light pink hanes XL (yup, extra large... charming) hipster briefs. (((giggle))) my little secret.
so this explains my lack of posts and/or comments. this explains the delay in shower thank you's. I will indeed get to them but after a full day of work, walking (I mean dragging) the dog in 100 degree heat, feeding b and my giant self, tubby is exhausted. a good night's sleep would be ideal (I cannot imagine) but when you have to pee a tablespoon every 30 minutes and your hips ache like crazy, quality rest is just not going to happen.
the temperature is rapidly rising. off to work now (with no AC.) let the sweating and crank-pot irritability begin.
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our 7 lb 4 oz miracle born 27aug08
1998 - 1 nov 2007
an open and honest struggle with infertility (x2) and IVF (x4) with ICSI plus random thoughts on dogs, cancer, ppd, cloth diapers, plagiocephaly, having a bi-racial child, being an older mom, life back in fab new york city, and learning how to be positive.
virginia
our 7 lb 4 oz miracle born 27aug08
our BFP
lulu
chilli
1998 - 1 nov 2007
in a nutshell
we are infertility poster children.
my dx - AMA with high FSH, DOR and no fallopian tubes.
poor responder to stims.
b's dx - low count and low motility.
very challenged swimmers.
tubal surgery and 4 attempts at IVF
all in 1 year.
my dx - AMA with high FSH, DOR and no fallopian tubes.
poor responder to stims.
b's dx - low count and low motility.
very challenged swimmers.
tubal surgery and 4 attempts at IVF
all in 1 year.
A loved one is not gone
until they are forgotten.
And to live in the hearts
of those left behind
is to live forever.
until they are forgotten.
And to live in the hearts
of those left behind
is to live forever.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen
"the problem with infertility is
that I am mourning children
that do not exist
and I'm the only one
who misses them."
that I am mourning children
that do not exist
and I'm the only one
who misses them."
my peeps
expecting lil' peeps
with lil' peeps in tow
IVF history
IVF #1 - cancelled at ER - too few follies
IVF #2 - 2 embies transfered. bfn
IVF #3 - cancelled at ER - too few follies
IVF #4 - 3 embies transfered. BFP! 21 dec 07
IVF #2 - 2 embies transfered. bfn
IVF #3 - cancelled at ER - too few follies
IVF #4 - 3 embies transfered. BFP! 21 dec 07
email me
pfwnyc@gmail.com
baby stuff
other assorted links
8 comments:
Whew! You do have a lot on your plate...it's also nice to hear that someone else has graduated to the undies that I have! It's horrible, isn't it? I always thought I'd be one of those people who went through pregnancy with cute undies, but no such luck! Hopefully you'll find some minutes somewhere, but don't forget to sleep!!!
holy cow woman! that is alot to deal with. i would keel over w/o a/c! good luck getting everything done
The end of pregnancy is the pits. You feel like a ticking bomb scheduled to go off...sometime.
Don't worry, you'll get it all done. I swear.
Girl - I am so glad I'm not the only one with the ridiculously aching hips...though I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. And good for you for going XL! Comfort is the point, not the size!!!! (Or that's what I tell myself when I go buy new underwear in the biggest size available...laugh.)
Just dropping a line to say that I made my blog password protected. If you would like to be able to read it, email me your email address. emmhollar@yahoo.com.
Oh I wish I were there to lend a hand! You sure have a lot to do!!! I hope things calm down and good for you for turning down a client!
Ughh- sounds miserable! I love your descriptions though- bring me right back to 6 weeks ago being miserably but happily preggers. FYI- labor/ delivery and of course motherhood is so much easier than a hot sweaty pregnancy!
Oh god, I can totally sympathize. Any freelance work I do has to be done in our non a/c little office and it's BRUTAL. Jeff keeps telling me I need to stop working at my 9-5 job and I'm like NO WAY, there's AC there!
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