I'm very much out of sorts these days. with formula feeding little ginny roughly every 1 1/2 - 2 1/2 hours (while infected nipples continue to heal) for about an hour which includes being propped upright for 15 - 20 minutes (to avoid vomiting) and then waiting for her to "settle down" I then pump/massage for about 20 minutes THEN do manual expression for every precious drop -- only getting 3/4 of an oz each time (if I'm lucky.) I change the diaper and the whole cycle starts again. sleep is not an option.
I'm devastated about not being able to BF and I'm completely exhausted. b has been on call twice this week so I'm alone most of the time (except for lulu, who needs to be walked 3 times a day.)
if I get some MUCH NEEDED sleep this weekend I'll post all the gory details of the birth and some new and super cute pictures. can you believe ginny is over 2 weeks old now?
how 'bout those feet? and all the "rear gear," as b likes to call my collection of post episiotomy goods. I call that photo "still life with stool softener."
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our 7 lb 4 oz miracle born 27aug08
1998 - 1 nov 2007
an open and honest struggle with infertility (x2) and IVF (x4) with ICSI plus random thoughts on dogs, cancer, ppd, cloth diapers, plagiocephaly, having a bi-racial child, being an older mom, life back in fab new york city, and learning how to be positive.
virginia
our 7 lb 4 oz miracle born 27aug08
our BFP
lulu
chilli
1998 - 1 nov 2007
in a nutshell
we are infertility poster children.
my dx - AMA with high FSH, DOR and no fallopian tubes.
poor responder to stims.
b's dx - low count and low motility.
very challenged swimmers.
tubal surgery and 4 attempts at IVF
all in 1 year.
my dx - AMA with high FSH, DOR and no fallopian tubes.
poor responder to stims.
b's dx - low count and low motility.
very challenged swimmers.
tubal surgery and 4 attempts at IVF
all in 1 year.
A loved one is not gone
until they are forgotten.
And to live in the hearts
of those left behind
is to live forever.
until they are forgotten.
And to live in the hearts
of those left behind
is to live forever.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen
"the problem with infertility is
that I am mourning children
that do not exist
and I'm the only one
who misses them."
that I am mourning children
that do not exist
and I'm the only one
who misses them."
my peeps
expecting lil' peeps
with lil' peeps in tow
IVF history
IVF #1 - cancelled at ER - too few follies
IVF #2 - 2 embies transfered. bfn
IVF #3 - cancelled at ER - too few follies
IVF #4 - 3 embies transfered. BFP! 21 dec 07
IVF #2 - 2 embies transfered. bfn
IVF #3 - cancelled at ER - too few follies
IVF #4 - 3 embies transfered. BFP! 21 dec 07
email me
pfwnyc@gmail.com
baby stuff
other assorted links
7 comments:
Oh man, you are in the thick of it! It will, will, will get better. I've just started to feel good again after battling a case of Mastitis this week. Not good - avoid it like the plague. You'll get more of a livable routine here soon, though, I promise!
And? You have a beautiful baby girl!!!!!!!!!
My little one is just 3 weeks old today and I totally feel your pain. I went through the same thing as far as breastfeeding goes. It took a LONG time for my milk supply to come in, and I had all kinds of latch problems, cracked nipples, mastitis... Suddenly this week I have plenty of milk for her, thanks to fenugreek, blessed thistle and constant pumping. I guess we'll try latching on again this weekend. I really, really want to be able to take a break from the pump for awhile and just feed her directly! Good luck and hang in there!
Oh dude, BF is so frustrating sometimes. I'm sorry things are so hard right now. I swear on all that I am that things WILL get better. I promise.
Zzzzzzzzzz.. I'm sorry?
The sleep deprivation is not for the faint of heart..
Hopefully once both of us can breastfeed full time things will improve..
Right now it's change/feed/rock/pump... change/feed/rock/pump...
change/feed/rock/pump...
try to sleep.
Get up to put paci in mouth
change/feed/rock/pump..
Surely people aren't lying when they say it gets easier..
Oh I'm sorry things are so rough right now! I'm hoping it gets better with each day. Can't wait to read all about it!
i am so sorry - you just do whatever to hang in
your baby girl is so beautiful! what a wonderful end to a long journey of infertility. i promise things do get easier!!
-A
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