01 October 2007

the dream

I was back in college. I was in a familiar dorm room hanging out and chatting with 2 friends that I haven't thought of in years. literally years. it was actually quite nice to "see" them and visit for a bit. we had a lot of catching up to do. unlike me, they hadn't aged a morsel. those 1980's hairstyles were looking pretty current and rather hip.

I said I was having fertility issues and was going through IVF. I wanted to be open and honest with everyone. I was going to need some help with the dogs and had to explain the reason for my early morning (monitoring) trips to nyc from... syracuse!

"don't wait until your my age to start having children. it's so much harder when your eggs are old."

they were visibly flustered and bothered by my confession and clearly wanted nothing to do with me or my reproductive words of advice. wow.

why?!

I was upset and needed answers. I went to track down my roommate at the school of architecture. I found her sitting at a drafting table chatting with her husband and 2 kids. I told her about my conversation back at kimmel hall (the old dorm.) she started to explain why my friends were so disinterested. so incredibly cold.

and I woke up.

2 comments:

Fertilize Me said...

Thats an interesting and very vivid dream

squarepeg said...

Hey there,

That's so odd. I wonder if you were subconciously trying to go back and give yourself that advice - not them. I do that sometimes - tell strangers things in my dream that are really meant for me.

Sometimes the feelings of wishing you could go back in time (to relive something, change something, etc) can be so powerful that they seem like they are really possible. How can something impossible seem so tangible? now I'm rambling.

Anyway, I'm thinking about you! Give me a ring if you ever need a break/snack/coffee...