egg retrieval time. friday 7 am nyc. 4 follicles (if we are lucky.) but we got ourselves a full moon! I've put my fertility in the hands of the geniuses at cornell and the celestial calendar.
this week has been rough. dead tired and super weepy. those 7 am daily appointments in the city are exhausting. hike, train, subway, walk, board "spaceship," wait, bloodwork, wait, ultrasound, walk, subway, train, hike. then have breakfast and start my day.
I am not going to talk about my anxiety. 4 follicles is painfully disappointing. why won't my body respond to the meds? why, why, WHY?! women talk about producing 20 even 30 eggs and I am lucky if I have 4 for crying out loud. speaking of crying... my 6:30 am appointment this morning included a pre-op instructional class. there I was all teary while listening to the IVF nurse ramble on and on about medrol and tetracyclene. I couldn't hold back and had to look away. nobody else was crying. how come I have all the symptoms of my meds but they are not working?
last night was b's graduation dinner. 4 chief surgery residents were honored. I was so proud of b. he looked so cute and happy standing up front and having his photo taken. he had his wedding face on (and his wedding cufflinks.) the most amazing moment of the evening was when the chairman spoke to the residents. he talked about the hectic and very demanding life of a surgeon. he said to be mindful of the most important thing about surgery - "your family."
"your son will never come home from school one day and ask how many bowel resections you did that week."
I was practically sobbing.
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our 7 lb 4 oz miracle born 27aug08
1998 - 1 nov 2007
an open and honest struggle with infertility (x2) and IVF (x4) with ICSI plus random thoughts on dogs, cancer, ppd, cloth diapers, plagiocephaly, having a bi-racial child, being an older mom, life back in fab new york city, and learning how to be positive.
virginia
our 7 lb 4 oz miracle born 27aug08
our BFP
lulu
chilli
1998 - 1 nov 2007
in a nutshell
we are infertility poster children.
my dx - AMA with high FSH, DOR and no fallopian tubes.
poor responder to stims.
b's dx - low count and low motility.
very challenged swimmers.
tubal surgery and 4 attempts at IVF
all in 1 year.
my dx - AMA with high FSH, DOR and no fallopian tubes.
poor responder to stims.
b's dx - low count and low motility.
very challenged swimmers.
tubal surgery and 4 attempts at IVF
all in 1 year.
A loved one is not gone
until they are forgotten.
And to live in the hearts
of those left behind
is to live forever.
until they are forgotten.
And to live in the hearts
of those left behind
is to live forever.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen
"the problem with infertility is
that I am mourning children
that do not exist
and I'm the only one
who misses them."
that I am mourning children
that do not exist
and I'm the only one
who misses them."
my peeps
expecting lil' peeps
with lil' peeps in tow
IVF history
IVF #1 - cancelled at ER - too few follies
IVF #2 - 2 embies transfered. bfn
IVF #3 - cancelled at ER - too few follies
IVF #4 - 3 embies transfered. BFP! 21 dec 07
IVF #2 - 2 embies transfered. bfn
IVF #3 - cancelled at ER - too few follies
IVF #4 - 3 embies transfered. BFP! 21 dec 07
email me
pfwnyc@gmail.com
baby stuff
other assorted links
2 comments:
YAY for DH, you must be so proud of him. With all you have gone through he will never take his family for granted like so many doctors do. There has to be a silver lining to all this crap doesn't there?
I think 4 is wonderful! That is 4 more than zero! I hope and pray your son or daughter is one of those eggs just waiting to be created.
I'm sorry you are so weepy and hormonal, just getting prepared for pregnancy, right? Keep your chin up, you will have a little embryo or two in your tummy in just a few days!
Congrats to the DH!
And good luck tomorrow.. Here's hoping for 4 fabulous eggs..
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