egg retrieval time. friday 7 am nyc. 4 follicles (if we are lucky.) but we got ourselves a full moon! I've put my fertility in the hands of the geniuses at cornell and the celestial calendar.
this week has been rough. dead tired and super weepy. those 7 am daily appointments in the city are exhausting. hike, train, subway, walk, board "spaceship," wait, bloodwork, wait, ultrasound, walk, subway, train, hike. then have breakfast and start my day.
I am not going to talk about my anxiety. 4 follicles is painfully disappointing. why won't my body respond to the meds? why, why, WHY?! women talk about producing 20 even 30 eggs and I am lucky if I have 4 for crying out loud. speaking of crying... my 6:30 am appointment this morning included a pre-op instructional class. there I was all teary while listening to the IVF nurse ramble on and on about medrol and tetracyclene. I couldn't hold back and had to look away. nobody else was crying. how come I have all the symptoms of my meds but they are not working?
last night was b's graduation dinner. 4 chief surgery residents were honored. I was so proud of b. he looked so cute and happy standing up front and having his photo taken. he had his wedding face on (and his wedding cufflinks.) the most amazing moment of the evening was when the chairman spoke to the residents. he talked about the hectic and very demanding life of a surgeon. he said to be mindful of the most important thing about surgery - "your family."
"your son will never come home from school one day and ask how many bowel resections you did that week."
I was practically sobbing.