ooo la la

man, is he cute or what? and so very sweet. he has beautiful dark skin and very, VERY light brown eyes. the kind that are hard to look at actually. I see him almost every single day at the bar. "the usual hun?" please. he gives me my shot and a slice of lemon. after I throw down the shot and torture myself with the lemon (YIKES) I sit and chat with him for a bit. he probably wonders what is wrong with me -- coming in every single day. he must think I have serious issues.

I do have serious issues. this infertility stuff is really getting to me. I am now back to POAS every day twice a day. I cannot risk missing my surge this month. the estrogen patches and ganirelex injections begin 10 days after the LH surge. IVF #2 officially starts at that point. here we go again. am I ready? is b ready to deal with the hormonal tears and mood swings? and I'm not just talking about him. maybe he should stay in chicago. I really miss him but I think he is safer there. I take that back. I need him here! shit, we have our closing coming up in a couple of weeks. we need to find a contractor. we need to gut and rebuild the bathroom. we need to clean and paint. we need to PACK! where the hell is he?

moving and IVF? god help me. I may just have to increase my daily wheatgrass habit at the juicebar because of all the stresses on the horizon. "the usual hun?" yes, please. but make it a double from now on.