05 February 2008

another week from hell

for b. we're aiming for another 140 hour work week - cool! (sarcasm.) well, maybe closer to 125 to 130 hours - slacker. I've really gotten used to self-inflicted PIO shots. but whenever I'm forced to give them myself (daily) there is guaranteed leakage and blood. when the phone rings at 7:30 pm, I audibly sigh because I know it's b calling to say he'll be, ummm late... again. time to load up the syringe, contort my body, and shoot myself in the ass. man, that's smart!

what's incredibly annoying (and quite frankly insulting) about b's schedule (aside from solo PIO) is that his attendings have somehow made this sucky situation "about me." piss off frank. b was pulled aside recently because he "looked a little down." b opened up and said that his wife (me. newly pregnant. not feeling so well these days) was far from thrilled with the work schedule. it was suggested that I "not rely on others (b) for my happiness." I should engage in some sort of hobby. for example this particular person loves karate and flying small aircraft. both fantastic options for someone in their first trimester! little does this person know but b could not have married a more independent person. I have my fair share of hobbies thank you. take responsibility yale new haven medical center! this has EVERYTHING to do with YOU torturing a poor fellow with ridiculous demands and inhumane hours. let the boy eat something. let the boy pee for crying out loud! give the boy time to take care of himself so he can better take care of others. this has nothing to do with me and my assorted knitting projects and partially read books. b never has or never will be "responsible" for my happiness. that is an absurd notion. what's the crime in wanting to spend a little quality time with someone... someone you're married to? our last dinner out in a restaurant was christmas day. or does a take-out burrito count as fine dining?

it doesn't make me happy living all alone in a shit neighborhood that borders the slums and where most of your neighbors don't know a speck of english. "good mornings" are greeted with blank stares. it's hard to call this place "home." how do you say "home" in chinese? no amount of karate lessons, embroidery classes or paper making can change how I feel. this dump is temporary so maybe on some level I refuse to embrace it because soon we'll have to say goodbye. in 1 year and 3 months, rest assured, little one and I will be packing up a twin engine plane (thanks to my newfound distraction) and getting the hell out of here. fast! and we're taking b with us.

6 comments:

Fertilize Me said...

this sounds all too frustrating - i am so sorry

Trish said...

Oh honey. :(

And what a cocksucker that attending is!? I have a feeling your hubby is probably far more diplomatic than I would have been. I can only IMAGINE my reaction to that response.


Some of the trouble with forming friendships online is that we're all far apart. If only we were close, I'd give you shots & at least keep you company.

And of course, bitch about your hubby's rotten boss with you.

Rebecca said...

How arrogant of the attendings to say that to him...there is a definite arrogance in the medical community. Sometimes I think that they all think they're miracle workers. Sorry things are so rough right now...you should just start showing up at the hospital for him to give you the shots and tell the attending that's your new hobby!

Portia P said...

I'm sorry for your hubbie's hours? Mine is having to work v hard but as he can do it from home, at least he's here with me.

The boss sounds a d**khead! How f'ing arrogant and what a cheek!

As trish said - it's a shame we're not all closer together to help each other out. Not sure I'd be brave enough to do the PIO for you - don't mind hurting myself with needles, not sure about doing it to others xx

Diana said...

wow, that sounds terrible and very insulting to you and B. Way to try to make him feel like the bad guy! Ugh!

Becky said...

I don't get why people always assume that having a hobby is going to miraculously make you feel better. It's such a pile 'o' crap.

Sorry, dude. You're not alone, I promise.