I had a terrible feeling in my gut. today was the dreaded NT scan/genetic counselor meeting. I had my first trimester risk assessment b/w last week so all the key information was available to us today. first of all, nobody told me I needed a full bladder for the u/s. nice. the genetic counselor made a bladder joke at the end of our meeting. "what are you talking about?"
the u/s was very sweet. b took the day off (SHOCKING) and he was able to see little one for the first time (now looking rather human) in action. the tiny hands and fingers took my breath away. we even saw a close-up of the itty bitty foot prints. little one cooperated for the most part -- even with an empty bladder. the NT measurement was 2.0 which is supposedly "in the normal range." I'm still measuring 2 days behind which I realize can make a difference in this measurement. but if someone in a white lab coat says the word "normal," I gotta go with it.
the little room overlooking a very congested interstate 95 is where "normal" didn't apply any longer. the genetics counselor input all my stats and we waited for the computer to give us a possible glimpse into our future. Positive. INCREASED RISK Down Syndrome 1:170.
not good news. the counselor, frowning, explained that they like to see at LEAST 1:200. my heart sank. I was speechless. my age, hCG (92.30IU/mL), PAPP-A (1.38 ng/mL) and NT (2.0mm) all combined gave us the grim results. on the flip side, I also tested negative. DECREASED Risk for Trisomy 18 1:5300.
what does this all mean? amniocentesis at week 15. fuck. and more b/w. I'm tired dammit and not equipped on any level for shitty news. 2007 was entirely about IF. excruciating HSG, bilateral tubal surgery, DOR dx, MF dx, 4 rounds of IVF (the last 2 had the added bonus of 4 hour daily commutes to cornell.) the glorious BFP was short lived because of first trimester uncertainty -- low and slow rising betas, high risk of m/c and subchorionic bleed. I am just days away, DAYS AWAY, from the second trimester -- out of the "danger zone" -- and now this. there were a lot of tears today. again. I just want a moment where I can feel good and positive for a change. I need to feel at peace and begin to enjoy what I have worked so fucking hard for. the same thing that has totally consumed my life for so long now.
if anyone has ANY insight into these numbers I welcome your thoughts.