09 March 2008

the dangers of spending money while saving money

so today I feel good... which scares me. I don't feel pregnant. I have a newfound energy and after a giant breakfast of eggs, toast, spinach salad and an odwalla juice I don't feel a morsel nauseated. uh oh. it's very odd. when I feel bad I feel "good." but when I feel good, I feel scared and/or bad. get it? oh, how the wacky mind of a nervous pregnant lady works.

yesterday I felt completely different. as a matter of fact, saturday goes down as a significant (and most memorable) day in the pregnancy journal (if I had such a thing.) I started to faint in a busy department store. oy. I was standing in a long line with my measly $11 purchase. everyone in front of me had at least 5-10 items. it was a damn good sale -- so many bargains. as I stood and waited that "oh so familiar" nausea appeared. I ended up awkwardly leaning on the counter for support as that "twinkly" lightheaded feeling started to set in. I actually asked the surly woman in front of me if I could possibly buy my one item before her as I was not feeling well. "please?" she looked at my belly. "go ahead. I've been there." she was visibly inconvenienced. I stumbled to the register where the cashier was ringing up item after item. I unstably held onto the counter with all my might. "where is the closest chair?" he looked at me. he looked alarmed. ummmm, over there by the entrance. are you... umm... ok?"

no.

my rubber legs BARELY got me to the bench as I made my way grasping onto whatever was in my path. I was soaked with sweat and shaking as I threw my head between my knees. everything was spinning and looked like confetti and glitter -- but without the festivities. it was a VERY close call. I was moments away from fainting and unconsciousness. shit! that was scary! my fear was more about the actual fall to the ground -- and being alone. after about 15 minutes I slowly stood up (sweaty amex still in hand) and made my way back to the counter. this time it was the cashier, poor kid, who was looking rather peaked. he immediately stopped what he was doing (pissing everyone off) and rang me up. he was both overwhelmed and concerned. "I'm fine now, thanks very much."

nobody else in that giant line bothered to check on me or think twice if I was ok (or not.) I was obviously unwell. pregnant and unwell. nice. I'm afraid this is how our world works these days. and that sucks.

but I did get a good deal on a cute top.

6 comments:

Diana said...

WOW, that is just awful hat no one offered to help you and how scary for you!! I am sorry you went through that.

Fertilized said...

DEAR LORD- I am glad that is over with. I have no idea why no one checked on your.. that's just rude.

Penny said...

Nice fainting!

I found that in early pregnancy I would have a day of feeling Pregnant, followed by a day where I felt very un-pregnant. It was unnerving.

lub said...

So GREAT to hear from you! I just caught up on your blog. CONGRATULATIONS! And already onto your 2nd tri! You Go Girl! I am sorry to hear about your friend's baby (will say a prayer). Terrifically funny story about your hairdresser and you telling him he is asian!!! Keep in touch my friend!

Trish said...

Chivalry is dead.

I've also had the back and forth "wow, I actually feel pregnant" to "Shit, I feel totally fine" thing going on. I really am not happy unless I'm miserable.

Did you get a doppler by chance? I'm finally able to find the heartbeat (with some work, cause I'm fat) and that's a big relief. If I feel worried, I can go check. I've only done it twice. Just knowing it's possible makes me feel better.

Becky said...

I can't believe no one asked if you were okay. I've never done that in public, but have done it many, many times at home. It seems less dramatic there.