I'm still...here!

bigger, slower and more awkward than ever!
the emails, text messages and phone calls have officially begun.
"is there an induction date?" "have contractions started?" "is there a baby yet?"
no. no. NO!
I even got a text message last night from b's sister. "what date is the christening?"
are you friggin' joking?! there isn't even a baby yet, you turkey!

and yes I'm still working. and no my bag is not packed yet. I guess I am still waiting for some "action" before I really believe any of this will actually happen. all my fellow saIF (success after IF) nesties who were scheduled to give birth in august are now mothers. congratulations ariana! little jasper finally made an appearance. I've been left behind to fend for myself. my support, my peeps, are now busy breastfeeding and fumbling through the early stages motherhood. but I'm still here... dammit!

on another note, did you know that slippers are a seasonal item? what the hell! I have been searching high and low for a cheap pair of disposable slippers for hospital. I'm talking $12 isotoner or old lady terry cloth dearfoams style. I'm certainly not bringing my suede scuffs to shuffle around the maternity ward in. assorted bodily fluids do not look good on beige. a good friend came up from nyc yesterday for a visit. it was great to hang out, lunch and shop. the only thing missing from our day was a few hours at a local pub. anyway, I'm pleased to say we hit the jackpot at kohls. I found my cheapass slippers. got them in black, of course. I managed to find the one and only item NOT on sale in the entire store -- oh well. into my infamous empty hospital bag they go! see people, I'm packing!

and again, on another entirely different note, vh1 classics shows 120 minutes between 4 am - 6 am. it's awesome! I'm up every day at this time anyway and it's pretty cool that I can now pee, pace and snack to my favorite alternative 80's videos. today I saw the smiths, love and rockets, they might be giants, the jam, rem, inxs. this made me very happy.

so hopefully tomorrow dr f, once and for all, will give me a concrete ripening/induction date for next week. no more of this wishy washy bullshit please! I cannot take it anymore. a good friend's wife is actually being induced right this very moment. he's leaving me "behind" as well. but fingers crossed little one will cooperate and I will have made some progress these last few days. the cramps, tight uterus and BH contractions have to mean something right? but nothing, absolutely nothing, about this pregnancy has been natural thus far, so why start now?