marriages break up over infertility.
I can understand why. the ever present undercurrent of disappointment, anxiety and unhappiness is palpable. DH and I can easily snap over the smallest of issues. I of course want him to be more attentive, compassionate and "cut me some slack here." I think people who work in medicine see patients as cases of sickness and disease. a mass of cells and tissue that come with a chart of test results. they cannot connect with their patients more than on a superficial level. you can't. there are too many of them. there's no time. that damn pager goes off constantly and calls come in at all hours of the day and night. it's nice when the mobile rings at 3:30 pm (like last night) and I have to wake b up because he is so tired he doesn't hear the ringing. "wake up. someone needs you."
now I am a patient. evidently DH is having a difficult time knowing how to handle my particular case. oh, it's a tricky one! yes, he understands the physiology of my problem but he visibly struggles with anything beyond the clinical data. the thing is with infertility, most of the "side effects" are emotional and also require delicate care. if I only had a laceration and needed two dozen stitches things would be ok.