bad things come in 3's.
1 - cancelled/postponed IVF #3 (or is it #2.5)
2 - chilli's diagnosis of 2 cancers
3 - MIL coming labor day
oh no. why does she have to visit now? why does she have to visit at all? I have so much on my plate at the moment and her arrival could easily push me over the edge. I am teetering there right now.
she "doesn't care for me." that is putting it mildly. the thing is, she doesn't even know me. her strong opinions are based on me not being a church goer and having religion a significant part of my life. I guess if I am not in church I must, no doubt, be worshiping the devil and committing all sorts of sins. that's me -- busting all the commandments! "thou shall..."
she loves to send me religious books. I am an earth conscious person that cares about the world's future. they go right into the recycling bin.
she better be on her best behavior. if she starts in with the criticism and speaking only in korean (to blatantly exclude me) I will have a total fit. the house is still not settled from the move. I have accomplished what I am capable of and it's not a whole lot. who cares. the kitchen is not completely painted, the bedroom still has boxes as dressers, and my office is a post-move dumping ground. I don't care. if she is mean to me I cannot be responsible for what I might say. and oh, I have a lot to say.
I've let her talk down to me in the past. I've let her negative comments and judgments get under my skin and upset me. not anymore. I'm trying my best to function normally while watching my dog struggle to breath and my successful IVF dreams disappear.
this was very telling. I met MIL's brother for the first time at our wedding rehearsal dinner. "wow. you are actually very pretty." he is clearly shocked and perplexed. she must have painted a hideous picture of me to all the relatives -- a disgusting and rude ogre of a person. well, I am not. surprise, surprise.