the insomnia has set in yet again. with a growing uterus pressing on my bladder, it's only natural to get up not once, but sometimes twice, a night to use the bathroom. I pee for what seems like 10 minutes and then go back to bed only to lie awake...thinking. sometimes my thoughts are positive. usually not. sometimes my active brain puts me into full-on panic mode. the worry tends to makes my stomach hurt and my heart beat too fast. I cannot wait to be out of this first trimester!
the other night at around 4:30 am, surrounded by a chorus of snoring (french bulldog and b in perfect harmony) I had a brilliant idea. I think mattel is missing out on a huge opportunity. IVF Barbie.
IVF Barbie would be a great tool in educating the public (and she'd be so much fun to play with too! just think of all the scenarios!) IF wouldn't be so hush hush anymore. she would bring long overdue awareness of the suffering too many of us live with. I think I have the details figured out.
IVF Barbie would not be decked out in typical plastic doll high fashion. no mink stole or tiny skirt. she would actually be sporting her partner ken's navy sweatpants (complete with the patriots logo) and a simple black gap turtleneck - think multiple branding opportunities! the IVF bloat makes regular skinny girl clothes hard to fit into. her hair would be pulled back into a ponytail in order to hide the disheveled style and dark roots. appointments at the hairdresser are not in the budget at the moment and there is really no time for such indulgences. there would be no makeup except for some cover-up under her eyes to disguise the obvious dark circles (and possibly some tinted burt's bees lip balm for a hint of glamour.) IVF Barbie would also be tooling around town in red converse sneakers. no stilettos during stims! instead of a gem embellished clutch, she would carry your classic canvas LL Bean boat and tote. it would be full of all kinds of goodies! spare 22G syringes, "the couple's guide to IVF," alcohol prep pads, an ipod with pre-retrieval meditations, consent forms, wheatgrass tablets, $7 cash. what really makes IVF Barbie unique and stand out from, let's say, Red Carpet Glam Hilary Duff Barbie and Stolen Magic Barbie is that she is anatomically correct - for all those pesky ultrasounds... maybe not.
just think of all the adventures IVF Barbie could have. hours of fun and entertainment! and don't forget, she's educational too!