29 October 2008

the birth story - chapter 2

pitocin sucks!

27 august 08. it was around 6 am when perky nurse came in to wake me up. not a problem considering I was never really sleeping. I showered and moaned about being completely constipated (thanks a bundle zofran.) nothing like going into labor and feeling rather... puffy. b arrived around 7 am and I was then wisked away to my new floor and private birthing room. very exciting! the room was ok -- nothing like the large, model version I saw on my hospital tour. the view was so so. once we got settled, pitocin was added to my IV. "we're on. rock and roll!"

grumpy nurse was far from sympathetic to my bowel issues. her primary job was to keep checking the monitors and, well, be grumpy. she scared me. the thought of her guiding me through the rigors of labor was super upsetting. "she's going to ruin it. she's surly, mean and bossy!"

"oooooh! I feel something. it's not bad. just some pressure." so I started to knit. I propped myself up in the rocker and proceeded to complete 2 full rows of the infamous, never ending baby sweater. I had all afternoon to hang out and knit. suffer through a couple contractions, knit and ultimately have a baby. cool! easy breezy.

"OUCH! the pitocen is REALLY kickin' in." I had to stop knitting mid row and quickly pack up the yarn. it didn't take long to feel full-on contractions. I couldn't find a position to get comfortable in. I couldn't sit, I couldn't walk, I couldn't be in bed. I told b that I was really hurting and that this whole thing kind of sucked. he kindly responded that I knew pain would be part of labor. (nice.) then the tears came. and more pain. and, thankfully, a new labor nurse. the 14 year old. teenage nurse.

teenage nurse
was awesome! she rubbed my back and kept calling me "hon." very sweet. she was terribly kind when I was holding onto the side of the bed for dear life crying in agony. "I need meds!" within moments I had a huge syringe in my ass. ahhhhh. relief. it was short lived.

now at this point I am a mess -- gripping the bed rail as hard as I could, crying, eyes permanently closed. even in a drugged haze (I felt stoned) the pitocen induced contractions were relentless. vicious. cruel actually. the shot was crap. bring on the epidural AND fast! in came the anesthesiologist with her resident. I recall saying (not politely) over and over "don't let HIM do it!" the poor guy. I had a fellow do my amnio and there was no way in hell that a resident/fellow would give me the epidural. fuck that. I needed experience here!

then everything became a terrible blur. a torturous, sickening, excruciating blur. there was no relief to be found. there were no breaks in between contractions. AND I hadn't even started to push.

to be continued - chapter 3

18 October 2008

spread the word!

feel free to use these logos on your blog, message boards, facebook...

17 October 2008

twins version

TTTC version

logo "work in progress"

11 October 2008

6 weeks. time management issues


where do the days go when you have a newborn? is 6 weeks still considered a newborn?

most days I don't get to shower until oprah (that's 4 pm here in ct. and I don't even watch oprah.) if I'm lucky I get to brush my teeth for the first time by 11 am. little ginny (at 10 lbs 14 oz) totally runs the house. I have to admit it's been VERY difficult coordinating her feeding/her lack of sleeping/dog walking/grocery shopping/bill paying/dinner making(?)/breast pumping/manual expression/thank you writing (gifts keep coming)/laundry doing/finding time for me to sleep... all I can say is, how do people manage with twins?! impossible!

I have so many topics for my blog just no time to really sit down and update. I start work again on monday. that SUCKS! it will be "part time" for the moment. we really need to find someone who can come into my home and watch ginny for a few hours a day. there is NO way I can focus on a project now and give any client my full attention. that's not right. so how does one go about finding a child care solution? where do you begin looking? who do you trust?

on another note, we just got back from a week in maine. it was bittersweet. I loved LOVED being home with my sisters but the house just wasn't the same. I thought a lot about m and my mom. both would have been so thrilled with virginia (who, mind you, is named after my mom.) the ocean air was glorious -- awesome for sleeping. I was really hoping ginny would experience the effects of the calming atlantic breezes. no such luck. sleeping is such a challenge for her. I mean her sleeping is such a challenge for me.

so here is virginia sporting her new hat (although I'm not so sure she is diggin' the look.) being the only niece in a family of nephews means lots of shopping -- polka dot dresses, flowered onesies, striped tights, leopard print hats! being in maine with all the outlets (hanna andersson rules!) also means lots of shopping. never has there been so much pink in my home. I love it!