25 November 2008

thanksgiving 2007

what a difference a year makes. b (post call and irritable) and I spent thanksgiving alone (and arguing if I recall correctly.) my entire family was in maine and I was incredibly sad not to be up there with them. I was expected to be at cornell at 7 am the day after thanksgiving -- cd 3 b/w for IVF #4. at this point I was simply going through the motions. get up at 4 am, get on the train, get off at 125th street/harlem (still dark out) take #6 train to 68st, walk east to cornell and sit in waiting room for my name to be called. this was my routine. nothing remarkable or out of the ordinary. my life.

like I said "what a difference a year makes." this thursday I will be in maine with my family and virginia will be the extra special added bonus. AMAZING! if you had asked me last year if I thought we'd be celebrating thanksgiving 2008 with a baby I would have responded "nope." 3 IVFs didn't work so why would #4?

so what am I thankful for this year? hmmmmmm. I wonder.

21 November 2008


I have a tearful moment
man, I am sooo lucky...

09 November 2008

she did it! I did it!

she slept through the night! not once but twice! the first time I tucked her in comfy cozy (our little burrito baby) around 10 pm. b was on call and she and I set up camp downstairs due to strong paint fumes (long story) in the bedroom. lulu and I curled up on the couch and slept soundly until... 5:45 am! a record!

the next night was even better. ginny went to bed again at 10 pm and woke up after 6 am! mama is verrrrry happy! a bit more rested and very happy.

what did I do? I wore a pair of pre-preg pants! even though I couldn't button them I was able to get my flabby pp ass into a decent pair of pants. b and I went to a dinner party saturday night and I actually, sort of, looked like my old self. I had my hair cut and colored and I was sporting mascara AND lipstick. man... it felt good.

05 November 2008

10 years ago today

we lost my mom, virginia, "ginny" to cancer.

it feels like it was just yesterday.

the sadness is still overwhelming.

especially now.

01 November 2008

one year ago today

we lost our little boy chilli.


we will forever miss him.

my very special pug.