12 October 2009

09 October 2009


those shoes.

right now I'm freaking out for 3 very lovely ladies - 2 at cornell and one at ccrm. each is at a different stage of waiting and hoping in this IF bullshit. all of them have gone through multiple IVFs - a combined total close to 14. fuck! one has her DE beta on tuesday. one has her fresh cycle transfer on saturday. one is planning her uterine biopsies for her upcoming FET. each one has already been through so much. way TOO much for anyone. all 3 are living in limbo and that is a terrible way to exist. it's like you go through the motions of everyday life while holding your breath. you anticipate that moment. will it be incredibly joyful or another heartwrenching disappointment? it's full-on torture if you ask me. screw waterboarding (whatever that is.) IVF is a more effective method to induce pain and suffering.

please, please, PLEASE send extra special positive (specifically BFP) vibes and thoughts to CR, EB and AD. these strong ladies need all the support they can get. I have been in their shoes and it SUCKS horribly. not a day goes by that I forget "where I came from." if I'm not physically experiencing the shots and u/s and b/w etc., I'm living it again through so many (too many) wonderful and deserving women. I'm sad yet I'm full of hope. I want to cry tears of happiness for a change.

I'll say it agin. fuck you IF.

07 October 2009

2 turntables and a microphone

b has been working the dreaded nightshift again. when we don't see dada for a week this mama has no time to post. I'm still slowly nibbling away at my thank you notes list from ginny's birthday. "down time" is a luxury these days.

so I finally enrolled ginny in the much anticipated music class. after a lot of research I found an affordable option. dude, it's crazy to think that $245 is "affordable!" yes, it's a hike to get there. yes, it's more than PACKED. yes, it's filled with disinterested nannies and pushy moms. and yes, all the instruments are tired and/or broken. but $245 -- score!

ginny LOVED her trial class at the other place so I was very excited to find this deal. but guess what? she HATES it! today was class number 3 and she cried (full-on tears and major frown face) most of the time. a little boy pummeled her to the ground during a cure tune. seriously, who plays just like heaven in a class for toddlers? did I date this guy in college?

so after 45 minutes I packed up my very unhappy child and got the hell outta there. the little girl in polka dot tights, ruffled denim skirt and red puffy eyes. will we go back and try it again? I'm not so sure. like they say "3 strikes you're out!" all of a sudden $245 for 3 very disappointing classes doesn't seem like such a bargain.