01 August 2007

secret handshake

there she was. I knew her deal immediately after I set up my towel and beach chair about 10 feet away from her.

she was around my age - although a little younger. she was sporting a wedding band and solitaire - and a nice one too! she was also reading, like me, a hardcover book. she was not, like me, slathered in high spf suntan lotion. silly girl. you should know better in this day and age.

it was her fantastic "beach bag" that gave her away. there was no way that that bag has ever carried a plastic pail and shovel in it. the inside has never been exposed to sand, loose cherrios, or soggy diapers. there she was. at the beach on a beautiful day, alone like me, surrounded by tons of mothers chasing small children. a fellow infertile.

she had to be. beaches in the summertime are all about families. I suspected pcos or maybe "unexplained." I just sensed it. was she resting up before starting an IVF cycle? did she just have an IUI earlier this week? does her husband have zero motility? who knows. what I do know is that she doesn't have a child. maybe this was her choice. but with the high percentage of women out there experiencing infertility the chances are pretty good she is "one of us."

all we need now is some sort of handshake to clearly identify one another.


Frank N. Beans said...

Well, I know it wasn't Mrs. Beans. She has some trendy bags, but the solitaire was purchased using my student loan check (great interest rate). It is more of a diamond "chip" than a "rock." Anyway, your right, I saw a blog last week with some pictures and they were taken in my neighborhood! It's a small IF world.

AwkwardMoments said...

I second a secret handshake or a bracelet or sticker - sometimes it just nice to be able to smile a little wider at a passer-byer that carries the same burden that I do daily

nickoletta100 said...

I like the idea of a secret handshake. Also want to say YAY you for going to the beach! I hope you had a great time!

Joy said...

She needs a pomegranate thread!

Shortly after my 1st miscarriage we went on vacation. we had a couple hour layover in Atlanta so I had plenty of time & resources to people watch. I'd also read "Waiting for Daisy" on the first plane ride, so I was good and worked up. Suddenly everyone around me was infertile. Every woman walking alone, I assigned a diagnosis. A man? Low sperm count. Yep. I see infertile people.