18 March 2008

tuesday's disconnect

I'm in maine now -- the one place that brings me complete and total peace. I'm sitting here trying to type (all thumbs and terrible skills) while watching the huge waves stir up the atlantic. I can literally feel the house shake at times. it's very dramatic and beautiful. ohhh, and the salt air couldn't be better. it's glorious to be home! and lobster tonight!

I had a half of glass of pinot noir last night with dinner (first time since bfp). eeeeeek! am I a bad mother? dr f said I can "indulge in moderation" on occasion. being in maine is the perfect occasion. cheers!

I have a friend who lives in the apartment building in nyc that was hit by that infamous falling crane. he saw the entire disaster happen right outside his window! his neighbor's unit down the hall was totally destroyed. man, that was too close.

my integrated b/w results are in. we went from 1:170 for downs to 1:1500! FANTASTIC! :)

I bought a few super cute, super soft, gender neutral newborn outfits for little one today at the outlets. it was like "make-believe" shopping for such teeny tiny clothes. I met 1 pg woman and another with a 6 month old during my "saving" spree. I LOVE to talk about IF. I feel like my mission now is to educate all the fertiles out there about the joy of IVF. I think the concept initially scares people but so far everyone has been incredibly interested. you mention 4 IVFs and you suddenly turn into royalty. I could have shopped and chatted all morning. however, I'm still getting the "is this a gift for someone?" from 22 year old sales girls. NO you big dope! I know I'm old but this is for MY child. my miracle baby.

I lost 2 pounds this week.

I admit I caved last week and purchased the snoogle pg pillow. no, I don't look like the woman below smiling away while totally encased in a giant stuffed tube. in fact, it sat unopened in the corner of my bedroom for days while I contemplated introducing the massive thing to our bed. I'm still trying to "give it a go" but so far I'm not diggin' it. I find that sleeping on 4 pillows (practically sitting up) is most "comfortable." true comfort, I'm afraid, is only a memory.

little one (the size of a large pear or... ahem, a gerbil -- according to one popular pg book) should make his/her presence known in my belly any day now. I cannot wait for the tiny, bubbly kicks! but please, no more comparisons to rodents. that's nasty and wrong.


Joy said...

gerbil? That leads to all sorts of nasty thoughts.
And you're not old. Certainly not too old to be buying baby stuff for yourself.
Damned kids these days!

AwkwardMoments said...

I love reading your serene post! I think it is fantastic that you went shopping and were able to purchase what you wanted.

You will NEVER be a horrible mother. Fanastic results from the new tests. Grats to you - you deserve that wine!

nickoletta100 said...

Oh how exciting to be buying stuff!!! YAY for getting the Snoogle, I hope you grow to love it like I do :)

Aunt Becky said...

Dude, I am so overjoyed right now for you. I'm pumping my fists in the air and doing a victory dance. This is just great news.

Lots of love, duder.

lub said...

Congratulations on your saving spree and thank you for educating people. I don't know about you but I don't want anyone to ever think my pregnancy came easy!

Erin said...

I came across your blog through a friend's. I am in the stim phase of my 4th IVF. I have really enjoyed reading your blog. You have given me hope that the 4th time can really be the charm!