12 February 2007

the babysitter

how can I be the only one?! the only person in the vast nyc suburbs coping with IVF and having daily meltdowns. I can understand the lack of meltdowns but the IVF part? it would be so great to find just one other woman that I could chat with on occasion. "how are your injections this week?" "what is your estrogen level today?" maybe we could meet in person over a disgusting high protein whey shake. I have learned the hard way that the best "support" comes from individuals experiencing the same situation as you. when my mom was slowly dying of a cancerous brain tumor I found a lot of comfort in a weekly visit to Guilda's Club. there were some truly lovely people there. unfortunately we were all watching a loved one succumb to a hideous disease. sometimes I went for a 1/2 hour just to say hi to my friends. sometimes I talked for an hour straight. I wasn't the only one who could spontaniously burst into tears while waiting for the downtown #6 local train.

my RE recently offered an infertility support group. nobody signed up except me. how can I be the only one?!

while waiting in the check-out line the other day at trader joe's I noticed a youngish white woman with 2 asian babies. while I was pushing a cart filled with costly organic produce, vitamins, spelt bread, tofu and decaf coffee, she was pushing a stroller filled with assorted cans, cereal, juice, fruit and 2 little girls. I wanted to tap her on the shoulder. "excuse me. do you have infertility problems like me?" "I know you didn't give birth to those girls. did you adopt them?" "does your husband have a low sperm count?" "is it bad endometriosis?" "having tubal surgery sucks, I know." the poor woman was just shopping for her family. little did she know she had an infertile, highly emotional, stalker eyeing her every move. but, it's her! she's the other one!

after I watched her leave for the parking lot I got to thinking. that woman may just not be the mother of those girls. she was probably the nanny for some high-powered-lawyer-couple working in the city and living in rye. my hopes of meeting and relating to someone in my shoes quickly vanished in a minivan.


becoming-home said...

Hey, when I start IVF Ill be in your support group!

(mrsjeffswife2b from the nest)

gina said...

I came across your blog on a link from some other blog (I don't recall) and I know this post is a million years old but I wanted to tell you I'm sitting here laughing so hard I nearly peed myself. About the woman with the asian looking babies at the grocery store. It happens to me all that time at Whole Foods. I'll see some nerdy looking white folks with some clearly african kids and I start to analyze them. I'd prefer to just ask them what's going on but I don't want to go to jail.

I'm reading your blog from the beginning. I have AMA, too. And one blocked tube. And the ovary that isn't connected to the blocked tube is only a piece of an ovary due to ovarian surgery back in the day. Lucky me.