with bad news comes the return of bad habits. red wine.
the stress of the "male factor" Dx and a missing husband with the "male factor" Dx has been overwhelming. I've welcomed the glass of pinot with open arms. it doesn't help when b's sister gave us a wine of the month club christmas gift. a bottle of red and a bottle of white. how rude of us to ignore her generosity.
when I think back at our amazing wedding I get pissed. a large part of the day was the traditional korean ceremony. fine. I agreed to the extravanganza (I have photos to prove it) out of respect for b and his family. I agreed to wear a tiny hat that cut off the bloodflow to my head and made my big ears more pronounced. I agreed to wear a puffy polyester petticoat and layer upon layer of other festive fabrics. my dress was beautiful don't get me wrong. what pains me is the part of the ceremony when the relatives throw fruit and nuts into my apron (supposedly representing our offspring.) "may you have triplet boys!" I catch every single nut lovingly (and purposefully) tossed at me. I was cursing everyone under my breath. "who the hell is going to take care of our 72 kids?! but please, more cranberries, I want a girl. I want to name her after my mother."
well, the fruit was rotten and the nuts were bad. I blame our infertility issues on the farmers.